New Delhi, 7 April 2025: Every parent wants their child to be disciplined and responsible. But sometimes scolding or punishing in anger seems to be the first option—whether the child misbehaves, does not eat food, or is weak in studies. But is this the right way? Experts say that scolding and punishment not only breaks the child’s heart, but can also weaken his relationship with the parents. The good news is that children can be taught discipline even without scolding. How? Let’s look at some easy and humane ways.

Harm of punishment, effect of love

Parenting consultant Parmita Mukherjee says, “Three things are necessary to make a child self-reliant—understanding the world around him, molding him in it, and then allowing him to mature. During this time, the relationship between parents is the strongest foundation for the child.” She believes that shouting or beating weakens this foundation. She adds, “Discipline is important, but it should also be accompanied by a layer of affection. If there is too much strictness, the child starts getting scared, if taught with love, he understands.” Psychologist Anindita Mukherjee explains this in more depth. According to her, “Physical punishment or scolding weakens the child’s self-esteem. Many times he moves away from the family or becomes aggressive.” She explains that such punishment makes children consider violence as a solution to the problem. “This can be dangerous in the long run. Some children grow up and go on the wrong path. Instead, ‘authoritative’ parenting is better – which maintains a balance between strictness and love.” Easy ways to teach discipline So how to show the child the right path without scolding? Experts’ suggestions and everyday experiences make it easy. 1. Give an understanding of good and bad: Explain the difference between right and wrong to the child. Give him a chance to explore his interests. Parents should be his friend, not just a strict teacher. “When my son used to misbehave, instead of scolding him, I would explain to him what harm it could cause. Gradually, he learnt to control himself,” says Delhi mother Reena Sharma.

2. Maintain a balance: Neither too much strictness is good, nor too much leniency. Observe the child’s behaviour and think if he needs a change. Make rules when needed, but enforce them with love.
3. Give time: In today’s fast-paced life, parents have less time for children. This increases anger or restlessness in the child. Parmita advises, “Spend quality time with your child. Talk to him, listen to him. This makes him feel secure and he does less useless mischief.”
4. Assign small tasks: Involve the child in everyday chores. Folding his clothes, watering the plants, or arranging the study table—these small responsibilities teach him discipline. Ajay Verma, a father, says, “I gave my daughter the task of filling the water bottle. Now she does it herself every day and spends less time on the mobile.”
5. Promote creativity: Engage the child in activities like painting, dance, or swimming. These not only channelize his energy, but also teach him to follow rules on his own. Anindita says, “When a child is happy and busy, he stays away from bad behavior.”

Why is punishment not the answer?

In earlier times, rubbing the ears of children or beating them with a scale was common. Parents thought that not doing so would spoil the child. But today, the ban on beating in schools and research prove this thinking wrong. Scolding and punishment can shake the child’s confidence. He will follow the rules out of fear, but will not understand. This can also increase the distance between parents and child.

Love will create a better future

Teaching discipline to a child is not a battle, but a path that is made with love and understanding. Every child is different, and parents need to be patient to understand them. As Parmita says, “Discipline does not mean punishment, but guidance. If the child trusts you, he will choose the right path himself.”

So the next time your child makes a mistake, instead of getting angry, hug him, talk to him, and guide him. This will not only make him disciplined but also strengthen your relationship. Teaching discipline is not difficult—it just needs to be done in the right way.

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes. Contact an expert for parenting advice.